Lately I have been having a whirlwind of emotions as you can read below haha, but tonight I am reminded of this...
A Time for Everything
In Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 it says,
"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."
..."He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." chapter 3 verse 11
and it calms my soul.
Are we trusting Him through this season? Are we allowing Him to transform us and to change us? Don't we believe that we were made for eternity and that this earth will never satisfy completely satisfy us?
Now that is better than any anxiety medicine on the market...
Love,
Jessica
Monday, May 23, 2011
Let me love you...let me heal you...allow me to change your life.
I have these moments of intense emotion, where I get a glimpse of the extravagant love God has for us and it literally takes my breath away.
This past week has been stressful for many reasons. We have all been sick with the stomach flu, stress from teaching and tutoring and trying to please all of my students and their parents, and then on top of it all major anxiety thinking about ALL of these emotions and then feeling homesick.
I have a tendency to keep God at an arms length when I feel stressed, anxious or worried about something.
Today I had just had enough of this low energy, non motivated feeling. As I began to pray and to call out to God the song "Oh How He Loves Us" came to mind... so I got up and turned it on....
My heart began to overflow with emotion and desperation...all the feelings, heart ache, stress, anxiety I had been feeling all week that I had kept me from Him came flooding out. As I was listening to this song I was overwhelmed by God's grace.
I think at times we all do a fantastic job of putting walls between our hearts and God... Tonight I am reminded that our Father in Heaven is looking down at us saying, "Let me love you...let me heal you...allow me to change your life"
I will show my love to the one I called, 'Not my loved one.' I will say to those called, 'Not my people, 'You are my people'; and they will say, 'You are my God.' (hosea 2:23)
This past week has been stressful for many reasons. We have all been sick with the stomach flu, stress from teaching and tutoring and trying to please all of my students and their parents, and then on top of it all major anxiety thinking about ALL of these emotions and then feeling homesick.
I have a tendency to keep God at an arms length when I feel stressed, anxious or worried about something.
Today I had just had enough of this low energy, non motivated feeling. As I began to pray and to call out to God the song "Oh How He Loves Us" came to mind... so I got up and turned it on....
My heart began to overflow with emotion and desperation...all the feelings, heart ache, stress, anxiety I had been feeling all week that I had kept me from Him came flooding out. As I was listening to this song I was overwhelmed by God's grace.
I think at times we all do a fantastic job of putting walls between our hearts and God... Tonight I am reminded that our Father in Heaven is looking down at us saying, "Let me love you...let me heal you...allow me to change your life"
I will show my love to the one I called, 'Not my loved one.' I will say to those called, 'Not my people, 'You are my people'; and they will say, 'You are my God.' (hosea 2:23)
Friday, May 13, 2011
A bittersweet, yet beautiful exchange
Well it's safe to say I am officially homesick. Don't get me wrong, I want to be here, and I am loving this incredible opportunity but the last few days I've been a little down as I am missing the people and things I miss most about the USA. As I write this, just thinking of each of you brings tears to my eyes.
Tonight I am missing...
being there for my best friend on a day she's only dreamed about and wishing I could be there to hold her precious baby girl.. American customer service,unlimited freezing cold air conditioners or heaters, cookouts with our parents, Grace spending time with her Grandparents, publix, chic fila, driving a car, putting my clothes in a DRYER not on a clothes line, TARGET, using an oven to bake, a BATHTUB, a soft mattress, thunderstorms, beach trips, worship service at highland park, spontaneous late night trips to steak and shake with Jamie, sewing, Disney, weekend trips to Busch Gardens and Sonny's with the Teelings, ice cubes in our drinks, An American Walmart (I can't believe I am saying I miss Wal-mart)...People that actually stop at "STOP" signs. When it says "Don't Walk On The Grass" or "No Litter" people obey. The idea of people waiting in line and not cutting in or stampeding to be first.... I could go on for days.
I do miss all of these things immensely, but I can't help but think of this whole experience as a Beautiful Exchange. I know this is not forever and by "giving up" all of these things for a season I would have never experienced some of these things....
Hearing grace pray over her lunch with her Chinese girlfriends at school,
the laughter of my precious students who feel they are cherished, loved and encouraged, a marriage that lasts through the ups and downs of adjusting to a new life in a new culture, the smiling faces of children who are OBLIVIOUS to the hatred that occurs between different races and cultures and LOVE on my daughter with arms wide open. A Homeless mans smile as I've served him his only warm meal for the day. Deepening my relationship with Christ, and sharing that with the special people He has put into our lives by loving them and encouraging them. Holding an orphan and telling them they are loved. Telling them that they are loved by a big God who holds them close when no one else does. Telling them that Jesus knows their hearts and their dreams even when no one else knows their real name or their real birthdate. Witnessing change in a new friends heart, and seeing it in the way they are living their life. Freedom that comes from living in God's will for your life, and stepping out of your comfort zone relying on God to provide all of your needs. Experiencing Community...where neighbors are always out, kids playing, and people are sharing life together. A community where fellowship is alive and well.
I feel like in some ways China has it all right, and many ways all wrong.
I am being challenged endlessly. I am being taught by those I teach, I have the chance to share Christ with those who otherwise may have never heard his name. I am finding that real happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes from appreciating what we have, instead of being miserable about what we don't have. It's so simple- yet so hard for our human mind to comprehend.
I realized tonight that although I miss many people and things from home I need to soak it up here, and live the moment. I believe the devil can fill our mind with fear of what's next, or dwelling on things we have missed from the past and we miss out on the awesome things God is doing in our lives in the present.
I believe because of my relationships with many of my friends here in China, my relationship with God has become stronger. Though we are from different countries, cultures, have different skin color and clothes, we are all connected through our Lord Jesus Christ. No matter where we are in this big world, God wants us to be like Him, loving one another without judgment. I am uncertain as to how long we will be here, but I do know that even when our time is up, my heart ,my mind, thoughts, and my life will never be the same.
I am blessed
God has opened my eyes.
Love to you all,
Jessica
Tonight I am missing...
being there for my best friend on a day she's only dreamed about and wishing I could be there to hold her precious baby girl.. American customer service,unlimited freezing cold air conditioners or heaters, cookouts with our parents, Grace spending time with her Grandparents, publix, chic fila, driving a car, putting my clothes in a DRYER not on a clothes line, TARGET, using an oven to bake, a BATHTUB, a soft mattress, thunderstorms, beach trips, worship service at highland park, spontaneous late night trips to steak and shake with Jamie, sewing, Disney, weekend trips to Busch Gardens and Sonny's with the Teelings, ice cubes in our drinks, An American Walmart (I can't believe I am saying I miss Wal-mart)...People that actually stop at "STOP" signs. When it says "Don't Walk On The Grass" or "No Litter" people obey. The idea of people waiting in line and not cutting in or stampeding to be first.... I could go on for days.
I do miss all of these things immensely, but I can't help but think of this whole experience as a Beautiful Exchange. I know this is not forever and by "giving up" all of these things for a season I would have never experienced some of these things....
Hearing grace pray over her lunch with her Chinese girlfriends at school,
the laughter of my precious students who feel they are cherished, loved and encouraged, a marriage that lasts through the ups and downs of adjusting to a new life in a new culture, the smiling faces of children who are OBLIVIOUS to the hatred that occurs between different races and cultures and LOVE on my daughter with arms wide open. A Homeless mans smile as I've served him his only warm meal for the day. Deepening my relationship with Christ, and sharing that with the special people He has put into our lives by loving them and encouraging them. Holding an orphan and telling them they are loved. Telling them that they are loved by a big God who holds them close when no one else does. Telling them that Jesus knows their hearts and their dreams even when no one else knows their real name or their real birthdate. Witnessing change in a new friends heart, and seeing it in the way they are living their life. Freedom that comes from living in God's will for your life, and stepping out of your comfort zone relying on God to provide all of your needs. Experiencing Community...where neighbors are always out, kids playing, and people are sharing life together. A community where fellowship is alive and well.
I feel like in some ways China has it all right, and many ways all wrong.
I am being challenged endlessly. I am being taught by those I teach, I have the chance to share Christ with those who otherwise may have never heard his name. I am finding that real happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes from appreciating what we have, instead of being miserable about what we don't have. It's so simple- yet so hard for our human mind to comprehend.
I realized tonight that although I miss many people and things from home I need to soak it up here, and live the moment. I believe the devil can fill our mind with fear of what's next, or dwelling on things we have missed from the past and we miss out on the awesome things God is doing in our lives in the present.
I believe because of my relationships with many of my friends here in China, my relationship with God has become stronger. Though we are from different countries, cultures, have different skin color and clothes, we are all connected through our Lord Jesus Christ. No matter where we are in this big world, God wants us to be like Him, loving one another without judgment. I am uncertain as to how long we will be here, but I do know that even when our time is up, my heart ,my mind, thoughts, and my life will never be the same.
I am blessed
God has opened my eyes.
Love to you all,
Jessica
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Meet Gugu!
This adorable Chinese Grandma followed Grace around Ikea playing with her for about an hour.... by the time we were done shopping she asked us to come for dinner sometime at her house and to please call her "gu-gu" hahaha... Seriously CUTE!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)