A bittersweet, yet beautiful exchange

Well it's safe to say I am officially homesick. Don't get me wrong, I want to be here, and I am loving this incredible opportunity but the last few days I've been a little down as I am missing the people and things I miss most about the USA. As I write this, just thinking of each of you brings tears to my eyes.

Tonight I am missing...

being there for my best friend on a day she's only dreamed about and wishing I could be there to hold her precious baby girl.. American customer service,unlimited freezing cold air conditioners or heaters, cookouts with our parents, Grace spending time with her Grandparents, publix, chic fila, driving a car, putting my clothes in a DRYER not on a clothes line, TARGET, using an oven to bake, a BATHTUB, a soft mattress, thunderstorms, beach trips, worship service at highland park, spontaneous late night trips to steak and shake with Jamie, sewing, Disney, weekend trips to Busch Gardens and Sonny's with the Teelings, ice cubes in our drinks, An American Walmart (I can't believe I am saying I miss Wal-mart)...People that actually stop at "STOP" signs. When it says "Don't Walk On The Grass" or "No Litter" people obey. The idea of people waiting in line and not cutting in or stampeding to be first.... I could go on for days.

I do miss all of these things immensely, but I can't help but think of this whole experience as a Beautiful Exchange. I know this is not forever and by "giving up" all of these things for a season I would have never experienced some of these things....

Hearing grace pray over her lunch with her Chinese girlfriends at school,
the laughter of my precious students who feel they are cherished, loved and encouraged, a marriage that lasts through the ups and downs of adjusting to a new life in a new culture, the smiling faces of children who are OBLIVIOUS to the hatred that occurs between different races and cultures and LOVE on my daughter with arms wide open. A Homeless mans smile as I've served him his only warm meal for the day. Deepening my relationship with Christ, and sharing that with the special people He has put into our lives by loving them and encouraging them. Holding an orphan and telling them they are loved. Telling them that they are loved by a big God who holds them close when no one else does. Telling them that Jesus knows their hearts and their dreams even when no one else knows their real name or their real birthdate. Witnessing change in a new friends heart, and seeing it in the way they are living their life. Freedom that comes from living in God's will for your life, and stepping out of your comfort zone relying on God to provide all of your needs. Experiencing Community...where neighbors are always out, kids playing, and people are sharing life together. A community where fellowship is alive and well.

I feel like in some ways China has it all right, and many ways all wrong.

I am being challenged endlessly. I am being taught by those I teach, I have the chance to share Christ with those who otherwise may have never heard his name. I am finding that real happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes from appreciating what we have, instead of being miserable about what we don't have. It's so simple- yet so hard for our human mind to comprehend.

I realized tonight that although I miss many people and things from home I need to soak it up here, and live the moment. I believe the devil can fill our mind with fear of what's next, or dwelling on things we have missed from the past and we miss out on the awesome things God is doing in our lives in the present.

I believe because of my relationships with many of my friends here in China, my relationship with God has become stronger. Though we are from different countries, cultures, have different skin color and clothes, we are all connected through our Lord Jesus Christ. No matter where we are in this big world, God wants us to be like Him, loving one another without judgment. I am uncertain as to how long we will be here, but I do know that even when our time is up, my heart ,my mind, thoughts, and my life will never be the same.

I am blessed

God has opened my eyes.

Love to you all,
Jessica