Last night I had a hard time sleeping. The last two days have been such a Whirlwind of emotions. It all happened so fast that I didn't really have time to let it out in the moment... It wasn't until the next day when I returned from the hospital that I was able to wrap my mind around it all and start processing all of my feelings. I've had moments where I think I am at peace and then hours later I feel completely heart broken. As I laid in bed Wide awake last night God reminded me of Job. He had family, wealth, friends, respect of all, good health and most importantly he had God. However, he lost it all. All. In. One. Day. It was all gone. His family and his wealth were taken from him, yet, he continued to praise God. Soon after, he lost his good health and the respect of all. His friends blamed him and soon turned on him.
In the end, God steps in.. Job pleads for forgiveness. Job realizes that the one thing that has been constant through it all has been God. He realizes that he is and always has been God's and that God is bigger than all....all problems, all gains and all loss. God restores Job and provides for him once again, but the experience has forever changed Job and made his faith stronger.
We may not always have a choice about the situations we are put in or the tragedies that we are faced with, but we do have a choice in how we respond. I have a lot of growing to do in the area of being thankful and praising God in all things, but I believe that He will never let me go and He will hold my hand and carry me when things get too tough. Today I feel the nearness of God and I am finding peace knowing we will always belong to him. Even if everything else in life is ripped from us, HE remains unchanged. He is full of grace and loves us with open arms.
I wanted to share a song that has really hit home today... It's such a song of healing for me right now.. Please listen to it if you have a chance. It's called "I'm Still Yours" by Kutless.
”When my life is not what I expected, the plans I made have failed.... When there’s nothing left to steal me away, will You be enough for me? Will my broken heart still sing?
If I lost it all, Would my hands stay lifted, to the God who gives and takes away?
I am SO grateful for all of the blessings in my life. Please Lord help me to keep my hands lifted to you regardless of my circumstances...
Ask yourself this... If you Lost It All...Would YOUR Hands Stay Lifted?
Thank you for all of your prayers.
GOD BLESS,
Jessica
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you will be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4
Amen to this, Jessica! It's okay to mourn your baby. I'm sorry for what happened and hope you have a good network of support to help you through the disappointment/pain. *many hugs*
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